So many people want to run away from the anxiety,” Dr. Engler says. “But, in fact, it’s important to lean into it and meditate on it to understand why you’re feeling the way you do. “It’s a particular kind of suspense anxiety,” says Brandy Engler, PsyD, a clinical psychologist. “And I have watched it drive my clients crazy. The ego is what gets you saying things like, ‘Oh, they didn’t text back because they didn’t like me.’ In reality, the reason they’re not texting back could have nothing to do with you. If you take anxiety down a few notches, you tend to have excitement. Ideally, that’s what you want out of the dating experience, for it to be exciting and fun. There is uncertainty, and there is suspense. If you embrace that in a way, you can embrace the enjoyment of the not knowing.
What is Dating Anxiety?
Dating anxiety refers to the experience of feeling nervous, apprehensive, or stressed in romantic or dating situations. It encompasses a range of emotions and behaviors that can arise when individuals engage in dating activities, such as meeting new people, going on dates, or navigating relationships. Dating anxiety can manifest in various ways, including fear of rejection, worrying about making a good impression, overthinking interactions, and feeling insecure about oneself or the relationship. It can impact one’s ability to form and maintain romantic connections, leading to avoidance of dating situations or difficulties in establishing intimacy. Dating anxiety is a common phenomenon experienced by many individuals and can vary in severity, from mild jitters to significant distress that interferes with one’s dating life and overall well-being.
How to Calm Dating Anxiety
- Be Aware of your Negative Thoughts and their Patterns
- Try to Sit in your Negative Thoughts and Ask Yourself Why you Feel this Way
- Focus on the Facts, Not Just your Feelings
- Assess the Situation and Take a Breath
- Speak Kindly to Yourself
- Remind Yourself that You’re Worthy of Love
- Remember to Have Fun
- Consider Therapy to Help you Overcome Dating Anxiety
- Be Confident
- Take a Break from Social Media
- Watch Rom Coms or Dating Shows to Get you Excited about Dating
Dating Anxiety
Overcoming dating anxiety is a journey that requires patience, self-awareness, and resilience. By acknowledging and understanding your triggers and patterns of anxious thoughts and behaviors, you can begin to challenge and reframe them. Seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist can provide valuable guidance and encouragement along the way. Remember to practice self-care and compassion towards yourself as you navigate dating situations, and celebrate your progress, no matter how small. With time, effort, and potentially help from Silver Lake Psychology, you can develop the confidence and skills needed to approach dating with greater ease and enjoyment, opening yourself up to fulfilling and meaningful connections.
Additional Resources
It’s Okay To Pause Your Dating Life During The Holidays, Refinery29 Media
“Text Back” Anxiety Is Real — Here’s How To Fix It, Refinery29 Media
